Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Waiting


As we go through our lives, whether it's our real life or our Second Life, we spend a lot of time waiting. We wait for things to happen, we wait in lines, we wait for people to answer the phone, and we wait for things to make sense to us. Today I was sitting and waiting, for my heart to feel lighter. Right now it feels very heavy, because of news that I received. Real life news, but it's a scary thought, that it hurts. History again is lost because of waiting.

Waiting far too long. So please, don't wait to talk to those that you love. Tell them you love them, let them know how much they matter to you, and learn about your past. Once they're gone, there's not a way to get that back.

P-38
Spearmint leaves
Skunks
Monkey See
Coffee
Gingersnaps
Easter Sunrise Service
Roses

Monday, November 12, 2012

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Wondering About The Past

We are all the keepers of pieces of history. These may be small pieces of our very own histories, or at times the fading histories of others. We aren't always issued information about these histories. Which leaves us in the dark, half of the time unwittingly destroying artifacts. It is sad to think about so many wonderful things that have been lost simply because no one said anything, and no one knew any better.

For me, an example of this is a lovely little locket. To me it was a curiosity when I got it. Years ago it feels like, back when I was in high school. We used to go to rummage sales and thrift stores, and I've picked up many lovely curiosities.But this little locket always makes me wonder.Who had it before me, and why did they have it?

I don't have a picture of mine proper to share, but this picture basically shows what it looks like. Mine isn't on a chain like that though. I've got mine hanging from a fake pearl and wire chain because that's what felt right to me. I have a habit of trying to fix old pieces if they feel broken or displaced. And this one I used to wear on a silver snake chain, until I found the pearl and wire piece. It seemed like a good match to me. Mine also differs in that it hangs on a flat hoop detail that reminds me of the kinds used on a brooch charm.

I'll never really know who had it before me, when I got it was long enough in my past that the trail to find out is long lost. But what I have found out makes me feel sad. If it's similar to the one in the picture above, it's a military sweetheart locket of some sort. I wonder what their story was, maybe it was sent to someones Mom or their girlfriend or wife. Someone at some point must have felt a great deal of joy and happiness at owning it.

But what's sad is that at some point in time, someone else felt that it didn't have any significance. So it's significance in that story came to an end and it ended up amongst the flotsam and jetsam of baubles and beads that float between hands and time. It lost it's history, and significance in a storyline. Becoming now, a curiosity I wear at the end of a chain. Something that may seem odd to some, but for me feels appropriate.

I find it saddening though that there's no way of actually knowing where it came from, who felt it was a deserved treat, and what happened to that story. Was it an unfortunate shortened romance? Was it a love that lasted until they both excited together after a blissful time together? Or was it a commemoration to family that they were thought of while their loved one was away.

I'll never really know. All I can do is wonder and look at similar pieces thinking about what they meant to the parties involved in their stories. The past is a funny thing like that, leaving behind little treasures to make us question, small things that are there for no reason other than to pique our curiosities. If you have someone you love, ask them about their treasures. Find out why that silly pin means so much to them. Why do they keep that small ceramic Angel hidden out of reach but just in sight to be seen? What is it about these things that help make them so important?

The memories and the stories that they help bring to mind. That is part of what makes them so important. We all have memories, and we all can have them sparked by something. Find out what the artifacts of the past spark for the loved ones around you, before it's too late to ask them.

Monday, October 29, 2012

New Song to Love

This song is beautiful. It is absolutely beautiful and understandable for me right now.

When I was little
I used to walk across the streets with my eyes closed
To see if God existed and I never got hit
I danced along the edges of the rooftop
To see if I would fall
And I never did
And for a moment
I feel immortal
And I am not scared, I am not scared
I feel immortal
‘Cause I know you were there
‘Cause I know you are there
No one around me
Believed in anything so how could I
Expect them to believe in just a girl
I’d cry myself to sleep inside my bedroom
And swear I’d never let them crush my world
And for a moment
I feel immortal
And I am not scared, I am not scared
I feel immortal
‘Cause I know you were there
‘Cause I know you are there
I felt like a flower
Trying to grow from the pavement
They would walk all over me
I felt like a snowflake
In the middle of the desert
Wishing I’d melt so I could be free
I feel immortal
And I am not scared, no I am not scared
I feel immortal
‘Cause I know you were there
‘Cause I know you are there
I am not scared

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Being Alone

Image taken at Redemption Quest
One thing that I've come to accept is that we all are destined to spend a lot of time alone in Second Life. It's not that there aren't thousands of people in the game. It's that there's limits to how many people we can connect with. We're not meant to be friends with everyone, and trying to be friends with everyone can be very stressful. But we all have a fear of being alone.

Just remember that there are people who care. It may even only be one person, but numbers don't matter. Your real friends  will be there for you no matter what.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Irritate a Goblin... Get Stabbed.

I'm kind of annoyed today. It's one thing for someone to hire me to do something and then expect it done. It's another for me to volunteer my services and for someone to not give me a chance to do what I want to do with the project. It irks me something terrible. Why? Because it makes me feel kinda used.

In this particular instance I volunteered myself to set up a build. A low prim one. And I had planned to do some detail work on it. This was around 3:30 am-4:00 am my time. I did most of the build mockup, and I was planning to do some detail work on it, but she nagged and nagged, so I finally just sent her the basic build.

And amna gonna volunteer for anything else for a nice long while. I'm annoyed and I really am not happy with her rush rush attitude, especially when I know she was told to wait a bit on it until she would be able to pay rent for a period of time on her business. Besides it isn't my problem. I should just take a step back and mind my own

Oh and the icing on the cake? The electric went out at work for about half an hour or so. It's ridiculous...*annoyed sigh* Nothing is going my way atm.